dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
