wanna go halves on a baby?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Vodka?
Forever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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