why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
