The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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