As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Four minutes until I can fart!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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