U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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