I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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