I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
