The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
