Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
