are you still at the devil's house?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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