those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize