I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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