My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
