Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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