i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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