If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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