The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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