Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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