I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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