She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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