If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
