the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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