Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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