What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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