I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
