the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize