somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
