You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
