There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
