all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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