I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
