The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
