dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
