They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize