hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
