help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
