I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
