There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
