you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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