I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
