Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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