I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
