saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
