you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
