Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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