No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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