non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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