Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
