I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
