do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
