There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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