i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
