Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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