Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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