is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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