Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
