Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
