Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
