i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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