I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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