I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize