Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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