what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it's like iHOP with fire
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
