Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Four minutes until I can fart!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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