You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize