How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
