I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize