please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
not ubering you a puppy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
