If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
