apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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