i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
