this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
