oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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