the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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